Island of Whistleblowers

After the murder of a Swedish woman by a suspected sex predator at a remote beach in Phuket, the Ministry of Tourism and Sports has come up with a very bright idea: a whistle for every female tourist visiting the resort island!

There’s a small problem though. They’re still trying to figure out how a tourist could blow a whistle while swimming.

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There’s another valid concern. Very soon lovers and politicians might no longer find Phuket a perfect getaway.

Once it is known as an island of whistle-blowers.

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Now let me set the record straight.

There’s no truth to rumors that these whistles will be outfitted with amulets.

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The more traditional way of dealing with a problem like this is to hire more policemen to patrol the beaches.

But hiring policemen would cost more than buying whistles.

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Why would they limit whistle giveaways to women?

Men could use them to drive away touts in Patong.

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The new government seems to have a surfeit of bright ideas. Natural Resources and Environment Minister Anongwan Thepsuthin recently said that the best way to save the country’s forests is through birth control. Less people, according to him, mean less people encroaching on protected forests.

Wow, we didn’t know that!

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 If I were Prime Minister Samak, I’d move Minister Anongwan to the Energy Department. 

His logic is the best solution to rising oil prices. Fewer people mean fewer cars. Fewer cars, of course, mean less demand for gasoline. And less demand, as every economist knows, means oversupply and lower prices.

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We can also have him as minister of labor.

Using his bright idea, we can solve the problem of unemployment. Simple, fewer people mean fewer people looking for jobs.

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The number of broadband users in Thailand is expected to rise from 1.5 million to 3 million by next year.

Now I know why my ADSL is getting slower and slower by the day.

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After his recent visit to Burma, Prime Minister Samak said he respected the ruling Burmese generals because they meditate, like good Buddhists.

The police general he has confined to a desk job wasn’t meditating enough